fuck all yall

if people don’t want to be my friend then fuck em. seriously. i keep trying to text you and make plans because i like you and think you’re a cool person and then you just ignore me forever and wait for me to make the first move. it’s really not cool. it’s really stupid. i’m the illest motherfucker around and i don’t have time for this.

but the part that’s even more stupid is how much i let it get to me. i could literally spend the entire day wondering why someone would just not care that i am trying to be a friend. it’s a terrible overthinking habit of mine. i couldn’t even meditate today because my mind wandered so much. booo.

i really have a lot of homework to do and i don’t want to be stuck doing it all night tomorrow night. i have to stop being so silly and move on with my life. if i could just relax about the whole making friends thing then i’m sure i would make friends easier. i just need to loosen up and become a little friendlier and less bitter when people are frustrating to me. i need more tea and more sleep in my life. i have been lacking those A LOT :/ i’m also sick of work and i have to go to my piercer and change my ring to a stud because i got yelled at at work because of it. also i have to get up at the crack of dawn tmr because i have been seriously lacking responsiblity and have not gotten my blue books for my exam this tuesday. fuck 8 ams i am never doing that shit again. 

i ended up deactivating my facebook because that shit just gets retarded. i feel like it’s a big game and a big charade because i always try to portray a certain image of myself. i feel like i’m not being loyal to myself. i don’t even really know who i am because i spent the past few years cultivating this image on my facebook of who i want to be instead of actually focusing on myself and growing as a person. i’m still impatient, mean, and totally self centered at times and it’s a serious problem. i just hope that i can soon learn to improve myself.

on a more positive note, i did get some yoga and running in today. those always soothe my mind. i feel like i have too much going on in terms of work and school. i wish i could quit my job but that wouldn’t be smart because i wouldn’t have any spending money of any sort. i really hate my manager. he is such an ass and is so awkward. why can’t he just be normal?? why can’t i have a manager that i really like for once? sometimes i wonder if i’m a seriously bad person or something because it seems like i never really get along with the store managers of the places i’ve worked. the only boss i’ve had that i actually liked is marco’s mom. i miss having a chill job like that, maybe i should look for a library job. retail is such a pain in the ass.. but at least i’m in the bedding department. it’s the best one to be in even though it takes up over half the store. 

i feel guilty because i haven’t been as responsible as i should be about school. the other day i completely forgot about my recitation. and i haven’t been to a chem class in over a week. it is a serious problem and i’m honestly not sure how i’m going to get good grades. so i guess i need to go and play some serious catch up on my reading. i should pull an all-nighter but i can’t because of work tomorrow. so i will try to work steadily the next 2-3 hours and then focus on getting more done this weekend. peace out everyoneee, i hope everyone is having a better week than mine

How I Feel After I Take A Nap

swiminalakeoffire:

(Source: poontickler, via andreuhnicole)